by Anne Wislez
Where to start? How to tell this story that has so many layers, and that touched upon so many subjects? Maybe by first acknowledging the astrology of November 20, our collective Earth Heart Day, which was a New Moon in Scorpio. The new moon shows us what is kept hidden in the subconscious and can be transformed once it is seen. It cleans the slate to start up something brand new and plant a new seed for the future. And the fact that this new moon was in Scorpio, means that we would be stirring the energies of that sign.
Scorpio is a water sign, it is bringing in the waters, not only literally the Amazon rivers, but also figuratively all emotions connected to them. Water is the carrier of life itself, without water there is no life. Water also represents the feminine energy that flows and always finds ways to continue on streaming, even if you think you are stuck.
Water also stands for the mother, who carries us in her womb, and affects us deeply from the first moments of our life. So water also symbolizes our longing to purify ourselves of everything that is not part of our authentic self. We purify ourselves by sweating out everything that we once absorbed in the womb of our mother, and that is now ready to be transformed. In this perspective our journey to the Amazon could be summarized as ‘the Scorpio initiation’, it is the stinging of the mother, bringing in her poison or medicine, that you can work with during your life in order to find and free yourself.
Scorpio also brings in themes like magic, the unknown, mystery, feminine power, sexuality, the play between man and woman, depth, but also deep fears, tricky themes like jealousy or treason, and even death… Scorpio is the depth of life itself, with all its beauty and danger. Just like the jungle is. So the poison of the Scorpio is pure medicine. If it doesn’t kill you, it will make you stronger.
***
Once we set foot on Antonio’s Lodge on the Urubu river in the Amazon forest, we entered sacred space. Our week together was in fact one big ceremony, and every thought, every word spoken, every act within that space contributed to that medicine. Telling us about humanity at large, who is longing for oneness and paradise, yet still experiencing so vividly what keeps us away from it.
At times it felt like the science fiction film Inception, in which a team of ‘extractors’ enters deeper and deeper layers of the subconscious to – on the deepest level – plant an idea that will have its effect on all upper layers, up to reality. In the movie two by two they go into a deeper level, while the others stay on their level to help them come back, once they did what they had to do. Just like in de film, also in our group, some people had to stay at the upper level, to hold space and keep an eye that nothing would go wrong on the deepest levels. Some may not even have understood what was happening, but were transforming it all through the pains in their bodies. Others stayed in in-between levels, to be sure that the ones diving deeper would be able to climb up to the surface again, once their part of the work was done. And each level revealed different themes…
We met the theme of the colonial past and the slavery, visiting a rubber museum, reminding us of the many African slaves that had been brought in by the European colonizers, from the 16th Century on, making Manaus the Paris of the Tropics during the rubber boom. November 20 also being celebrated as the Dia de Cosciencia Negra in Brazil, to commemorate this very painful episode in history.
We met the horrible theme of the indigenous people being slaughtered by the invaders. Their bodies being thrown in the river, amongst others in the river Urubu that we were on. Only the last day we came to know that the river was called after the birds that are indeed massively circling around the area, the vultures (urubu in their native language), because of the many corpses on the bottom of the rivers. We did a forgiveness ritual, ho’opono pono, at the borders of the river on our very last day.
We met the greed and aggression of the white men, wanting more and more and never being satisfied. Thinking we are entitled to more than 3 times the planet, each, for our own benefit. At the detriment of so many others. We met the complicity of the missionaries, but also the regret and the insight that even when we naively think that we are doing something good, it is not necessarily beneficial to the other or to the greater whole in the end. We had a touching constellation in which the representative of the native people touched and healed the heart of the regretful white man.
Then there was the symbol of the Chakana, the Andes cross, that kept on popping up in our card decks, on walls, in visions… Connecting the three worlds: the upper world of the apus, the mountain spirits of the Andes; the middle world of Manaus which was the heart; and the underworld of Belém where the different agendas challenged each other, and fate of humanity was being discussed at the COP. Representing our mind or higher vision, our heart space, and the subconscious motives that drive us all. And reminding us how important it is to keep these three centers balanced, otherwise things go out of hand.
The Chakana also symbolized the four elements, air, fire, water and earth, and the fifth element in between, the circle in the middle: the emerald heart. In our constellation it was represented by the minute hummingbird, that vibrant little animal bringing healing, love and hope. In our circle it was flying from one to the other, as if it wanted to gently bring its medicine to each and every one of us.
There was the theme of the Mother, as the name Manaus stands for The Mother of all Gods. Feeling like a giant Grandmother Spider holding an enormous web together. Telling us: “I am the One in charge, and I will be weaving it all back together again.” Entering the Amazon jungle felt as intering the yoni of the Mother, warm and humid, the place where all forms of life emerge, and relate to each other as one big organism, thriving – each one knowing its role, ready to cocreate but also ready to react when threatened. A territory that we had to enter with a humble heart, and with the willingness to learn and to look with our ears, instead of our eyes. There was so much more to discover than we could see.
In the midst of that womb, in the darkest of nights, on precisely new moon in Scorpio, we felt the heart of the mother beating. The mother that has challenged us to the core, creating life and all of its challenges, but who in fact loves us so dearly that sometimes we would think we cannot breathe. But we can. As long as the Amazon is alive, we will have the oxygen to keep on breathing through it all.
There was also the snake, crawling in our loins, bringing in the life force and sexuality, all the themes of the first and second chakra. Which can be pure, playful and sensual as the pink dolphins, but also dangerous and potentially harming as the cold-blooded alligators. If we would linger too long in that field it would bring in unsafety, deceit, betrayal, jealousy, judgement, and all the feelings that distort the fertile connection between the masculine and the feminine and the creative flow of the life force.
The distortion of the snakepit was the deepest level that we had to enter, to bring in the higher vision and clarity, the sacred masculine or Shiva lingam, the trustful receptivity of the feminine and the purity of the hummingbird or the heart in between.
During the week black and white were alternating all the time; after the most beautiful experience of innocence and purity, the darkness walked in. Over and over again. The theme of ida and pingala, the white and black energy snakes that crawl alongside our spine, was also brought in by the ‘meeting of waters’ that we visited at the start of our journey, where the Rio Negro meets the Rio Solimões to form the Amazonriver. Reminding us that we need the white and the dark, the masculine and the feminine, to create unity in the next level of evolution.
Both waters were put together on our altar, absorbed all our processes, words and intentions, and were given back to the Urubu river in the end. We added our prayers, praying that extremes may be united and that all that keeps us from this sacred unity may be healed. At that very moment the sound of thunder roared through the skies, just one time, as if to confirm the work done.
***
And then, stepping out of sacred space, driving back to Manaus, slowly the mind woke up again, raising questions. What was this all about? What have we actually done? As if woken up from a dream. The eternal dance between the heart and the mind; one being ready to destroy the power of the other. And yet, like in the movie Inception, something in us was changed. Something in us was ignited. By the fluttering of the hummingbird, that, with its little wings, created waves that cannot be stopped. Awakening the Amazon in us all. Asking us to remember how different the world is when we use our heart as a leader and our mind as a servant. Asking us to remember to observe that big jungle of life not with our eyes, but with our ears and other senses, hearing the message of every bird, every bug, every leaf dancing in the wind… Asking us to keep on walking through life with humility, in wonder and in awe, ready to receive its powerful force and be part of her entity again – as we once were but just… forgot.
Picture: Thanks to Minet Westerveld.
